Ice ice baby

Our steadfast refusal to do the two-day San Francisco-rich-white-person-extravaganza-type birth class found us at the door of the crunchy non-profit Birthways in Berkeley on Sunday for a three hour class called "Comfort Measures in Labor". Being the kind of people we are, we were ridiculously, comedically early, so had a chance for some one-on-one (err, two-on-one I suppose) time with the instructor, a doula named Stacia Biltekoff. The space was a modest room in a commercial building, outfitted with comfy chairs, birthing balls and lots of framed arty pictures of fabulously pregnant women. It felt comfortable, low-key and non-profit, which made us both quite happy.

We had also been expecting something like our various friends who had done the spendy birthing boot-camp classes had found, in which there's 20 couples all fighting for attention - so we were very surprised when Stacia said there were just three couples. One didn't even show up, so it was just her, us and another couple. This was great, especially as she was so friendly and knowledgeable. We started off with the crazy positions and moved through acupressure, hypnotherapy and breathing before ending up with the final part of the class.

We were each given a towel into which was dumped a pile of ice cubes. We were told to pick up the ice and hold onto it. Okay. This is cold. Owww. This is starting to hurt. Err, can I put it down now? No, I shouldn't, no-one else has. I wonder if I'm doing permanent damage here? Owww. I mean, seriously, this is fucking painful. Is this a test of endurance? Will she eventually tell us to stop? What if she doesn't? What if it really is a competition to maybe show the dads that the mums have better pain tolerance? "Stop" she says. Phew! We had held the ice for one minute. Ooooooh, now I get it. That was a contraction. I see where this is going.

Next up, same again, but look into your partner's eyes for the whole time. Okay, this is a bit easier. Third time, spend 30 seconds focused on the pain, then 30 seconds focused on your partner. Hmmm, even easier. So distraction works well.

Now the two dads were done with the ice, woohoo! We would now implement the comfort measures we'd learned whilst our partners held onto the ice. Stacia set up three stations: one with a birthing ball next to a table, one with a couch, and one with cushions on the floor. We had to do each station, doing our best to keep our wives' minds off the pain of the ice. By golly it worked well. K was really pleased with how the massage, the positions, the talking and the holding made such a big difference.

Now no-one is saying that holding ice is as painful as a contraction, but regardless of the intensity of pain, the exercises showed us how important these comfort measures will be during labor. It was an extremely interesting psychological experiment, and even though we'll have a doula helping us along, I'm pleased I learned these important lessons.