We set aside last Sunday to do more work on the nursery, collate clothes and generally cross things off the big ol' list. For K this meant figuring out exactly what we had received in hand-me-downs, and for me it meant hammers, powertools and making holes in the walls and ceiling.
Unfortunately the day rapidly deteriorated into something dark and depressing. It came to light that we really didn't have much "stuff". Sure, there were a few clothes, and to be fair we have a lovely crib thanks to some friends, but beyond that we were a bit short, especially in the 0-3 months area. Making things worse was the fact that our "not a shower" party was still one week away, and although we weren't "asking" for gifts, we know that some people will bring them, so it's not like we could go out and instantly buy what we needed in case other people had already got something but not crossed it off the registry. But the big question became "what if the baby arrives this week?" The answer: we're f**ked. Our desire to reduce our carbon footprint by not buying needlessly or asking others to do the same was biting us in the ass. Here we were, vulnerable and rather depressed, without a "proper" shower planned (and therefore no guaranteed pipeline of stuff), and without stuff because we had been relying on getting hand-me-downs. We try to be good to the environment and not impose on our family and friends to spend money on us, and it appeared to have simply made us unprepared.
The right thing to do is often not the easy thing to do. When you're expecting a baby, easy is usually favoured over right. We could see why it was that people spent money, held showers, bought new things and did everything we were trying to avoid. At that point we felt that we'd picked the wrong path.
Time for a call to our closest friends, C&C, who have been great support throughout, thanks to being only six months ahead of us in babyland. They had said all along that they have a bunch of stuff for us, so I suggested that today might be a good day to get that rolling. They agreed, but said they wanted to grab a few things for us that they've found invaluable that aren't on our registry.
We carried on working away whilst we waited for them to stop by, and in the process discovered that the awesome vinyl owls that we're putting above the changing table and crib have gone missing. Another blow, because we can't put up shelves and pictures until we know where the owls are going to be. Grrr!
Next job was to make a big batch of Manhattan Clam Chowder that would be frozen so we could use it once the baby arrives. Once we got back with 24 large clams figuratively in hand, C&C called to say they were coming over. Moments later they were bringing in BAGS AND BAGS of stuff. There were gender neutral clothes, leftover newborn diapers, a carrying case for diaper changing stuff, toys and more, all used, and all ready for the next family, us. And in the next bag was a huge collection of things they had bought for us that afternoon, none of it critical by itself, but together it seemed like some kind of magical Baby Starter Kit. There was a hairbrush, a water thermometer, a changing table pad, pacifiers, butt paste and much more. We were completely floored. The icing on the cake was a massive list that C had put together based on her experience of what stuff you need, along with a bunch of lovely, lovely checkmarks next to a lot of things.
As the day drew to a close, with a huge pot of clam chowder cooling on the stove, we reflected on what we had achieved in the room, but more importantly on how friends really came through for us. To go from feeling alone, unprepared and poor decision-makers in the morning, to having such a show of support from dear, dear friends in the evening made for quite a day.
We still have a lot to do and a lot to get, but we're over a hump. I think back to a Beatles song that was playing on our iPod whilst we were hanging curtains that afternoon:
"you get by with a little help from your friends..."
Pretty cool, don't you think? Each one of these books means something to one of her classmates. Talk about crowdsourcing!
I've never seen anything like this. It was quite astounding. They're a terrific bunch of people, and anytime that K has a study group or a get-together with them at our place I always enjoy their company - but it's clear that the tight relationship they all have with each other, after over two years working together in the same program, is pretty special.
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